Out of Control? It’s Either Because You’re Focusing on What You Can’t Change or Avoiding What You Can

In a world that often feels chaotic, especially in the aftermath of the pandemic, it’s easy to feel as though we’ve lost control. External factors like the state of the economy, global issues, the emotions and behaviors of others, and even the fragility of life itself—these things are simply beyond our reach. This realization often triggers feelings of anxiety, fear, and a deep sense of restlessness. We find ourselves overwhelmed by what we can't change, and, ironically, this can make us feel more out of control.

But here’s the kicker: feeling out of control is often a result of one of two things. Either we’re stressing about things that we have no power over, or we’re avoiding taking action on things that we actually can change. Let's break it down.

The Illusion of Control

The truth is, much of what causes anxiety is based on our attempts to control things that are inherently uncontrollable. The state of the world, other people's actions, or even the economy—these are outside our scope of influence. When we invest emotional energy into these uncontrollable aspects, it creates a feeling of being overwhelmed and powerless. In essence, by worrying about what we can’t control, we end up adding more stress to our lives without any positive outcome.

The Lost Power of Action

On the other hand, in our preoccupation with external chaos, we often neglect the things that are within our control. Our own growth, health, ambitions, relationships, and the care we give others—these are things we can influence. And yet, when we focus too much on what’s outside our reach, we often overlook these crucial aspects of life.

It is in these moments, when we feel out of control, that we must remind ourselves of our power. We can take action in ways that shape our lives—whether it’s working on a personal goal, taking care of our health, or simply being kind to the people around us. These small but meaningful actions have a profound impact on our sense of agency and control.

The Power of Acceptance

Accepting what is beyond our control is a major step toward reclaiming our peace of mind. It doesn’t mean we’re giving up or being passive—it means we are focusing our energy where it truly matters. By letting go of the need to control the uncontrollable, we make space for the things that we can actually influence.

The greatest act of self-love, sometimes, is to simply act. It’s about choosing to invest your time and energy into the things that will bring you growth and fulfillment, rather than wasting it on things that won’t. This is where your true sense of control lies: not in changing the world around you, but in aligning your actions with what you can control.

Moving Forward with Purpose

So, here’s the question you need to ask yourself when you feel out of control: Do I want to continue worrying about things I can do nothing about, or will I take action on the things I can actually influence?

The choice is yours. While we can’t control everything, we can control how we respond. We can choose to focus on what matters, take action where we can, and embrace the peace that comes from letting go of the things that are beyond our reach.

Feeling out of control? It’s an opportunity to recalibrate and refocus. Harness your power, take charge of what you can, and allow yourself to find peace in accepting what you can’t.