The Michelangelo Phenomenon: Sculpting Ourselves and Others

The Michelangelo Phenomenon is a powerful idea: it suggests that the people around us play a significant role in shaping who we are and who we become. Just like a sculptor carefully chisels away at a block of marble to reveal the masterpiece inside, the people who influence us the most—our friends, family, mentors, and even casual acquaintances—help sculpt our ideal selves.

So, if others are shaping us, doesn’t it make sense that we need to be extremely selective about who we allow to mold our lives? What if we choose the wrong sculptors? What if they create a version of ourselves that’s further away from who we truly want to be?

It’s a reminder to tread carefully, not just for our own sake, but for others' as well. Let’s be clear: it’s not only about the people around us sculpting us, it’s about how we’re sculpting them too. Every interaction, every decision, every word we say contributes to the person they are becoming. So, the real question is: Are we being mindful sculptors, helping the people around us move closer to their ideal selves? Or are we just lazy, careless artists, leaving their futures unshaped or incomplete?

This idea also connects to the phrase, “uncovering the layers.” Just like a sculptor peels back the layers of stone, relationships slowly reveal deeper levels of understanding—not just about others, but about ourselves too. It’s a journey that unfolds over time, with every conversation, every challenge, and every shared moment.

Here’s the truth: In this interconnected world, we are all shaping one another—whether we realize it or not. So let’s be thoughtful, deliberate sculptors. Let's be the kind of people who help others uncover their truest selves, as well as continuously work on uncovering our own.

Practical Takeaway:

To be a better sculptor—whether for yourself or others—start with awareness. Pay attention to the influence of your circle. Do they encourage growth, challenge you, or simply hold you where you are? Likewise, check in with your own actions and words. Are you lifting up the people around you or unintentionally contributing to their stagnation?

And remember, being a good sculptor means embracing the discomfort of change. It’s not always easy or immediate, but the process of shaping something beautiful takes time, patience, and care. So, ask yourself: Who’s chiseling away at your life, and who are you shaping today?